Next Step...

Freak! I started my period this morning... So now i have to go have a saline sonogram to look at the mass they found in my endometrium. After the first round of injections the 2nd time, they found a dense mass in my endometrium so they think that's whats causing me to not get pregnant. Its good news but also kinda sucks. Its not a major surgery to take it out but, they do have to put me under and all that jazz. After the surgery I will be able to do one more cycle of the fermara and FSH and if that doesn't work then I will be taking some time off to get myself healthy again and we will look at our other options. Thank you everyone for all your support to Brett and I. Please continue to keep us in your prayers.

Having Faith

So here I am soaking in the tub after giving myself my last (hopefully) FSH shot. I had a strong urge to read my scriptures, I have been questioning a lot the last few weeks on if I am truely ready to go through the temple this week and if everything I am doing to by body is really worth it. So I opened my scriptures on my phone with my pandora radio on, I decide to look up scriptures on faith and prayer. As I'm reading about faith what comes on the radio? Josh Groban and Celine Dion the Prayer... I started balling! now here I am writing this and what is playing now? You Raise Me Up... still balling... wow I have never had such an overwhelming feeling like this. The feeling that the sprit is turely with me right now letting me know that it will all be ok, that I'm ready and I can handle everything right now. The scripture I read was 2 Nephi 26:13, Christ works mircales among the children of men according to their faith. This part of the scripture has really changed my whole thinking of how I have faith. If I want to have any mircales happen I have to not question my faith and truley believe that everyone has their own plan and it will happen when it happens. I love my family and friends that are there to remind me to hold on! relax and if its time its time. I'm feeling better about going to the temple with brett.Something I never even thought would ever happen to me. I'm happy to know that brett feels the same way as I do. I can't wait! I love you baby forever and ever....
PS... sorry its so scattered I'm doing this by phone so its a little harder to edit.

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Not this Month:(

SO the good news is that what I thought was light spotting turned into being a full on period. In fact, it is one of the first ones I've had on my own in a long time (no medication needed to bring it on). July 27th is day one, day three I will start femara again, then day 7,9,11 I will do FSH injections. I have never heard of FSH injections before so I did what I always love doing when I want to find out about something "GOOGLE IT!" FSH, side effects, pregnancy, and test, all this stuff came up. I went right the the dirty stuff (well not really dirty but you know what I mean) HOW BAD CAN IT BE? Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS), I've been warned about this one already because, I have been on clomid a time or two, or three, or four, or five.... anyway, Lung and blood vessel problems? well POOP I hope this doesn't happen! I could have a stroke or even worse LOSE A LIMB. I don't think I have to worry too much. Then one that really caught my eye...GAS!:) LOL just kidding, well not really that is one side effect but... Multiple births! For me this wouldn't be a bad side effect, per say. More like a BLESSING! I have always said I wanted twins, one boy, one girl. My mom thinks its a great idea too... One Mormon baby and One non Mormon baby. I know its bad, and she's just kidding, but still I think its funny:) (love you mom) Anyway, I am having a better time with accepting my failed attempt this go around. I know my Heavenly Father has a plan for Brett and I. He knows when we will be ready, and when that time come... It will be the BEST DAY EVER!

Have they gotten BIGGER???

I'm having a really hard time with waiting to take a PTest. I keep looking for the answers on line, from family, and other friends that have gone through a pregnancy. Last week I did not and could not eat, nothing sounded good to me I couldn't even get through a yogurt. Now all I want to do is eat! I got up at 11pm last night and made a quesadilla with sour cream, I couldn't believe it I never do anything like that. Then on Saturday, Brett asked me "Have your boobs gotten bigger?" I haven't really thought about it to much because they haven't been that sensitive, they usually get really bad right before I start my period but nothing yet. Almost every morning I have been waking up not feeling good, I thought it might have been that I was taking my metformin to late in the day but I found that it wasn't. Oh, did I mention that I took like a 5 hour nap on Saturday, and I slept for over 13 hours on Sunday? I have been pooped! I have to always stop myself and take a deep breath every time something new comes up. I hate reading into signs but I'm so excited that this might be it. I really don't want to be let down again. All we can do is pray! keep your finger crossed!

Rev Run....

Tonight i feel like Rev.RUN from RUN DMC, why you say? well at the end of his show on MTV he always ended in the bath tub sending a mass email from his phone. So here I am blogging from my bath tub. No TV, just the sound of the pitter patter of the rain and the feel of a chill breeze come through the window. I am truely in my happy place. I hope when we are blessed with a baby I can still have a moment like this.

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Phone test....

I'm just testing out how well the new blog app works on my phone.

enjoy your day!

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Getting there...

Well I think I am getting a handle on this whole blogging thing. Now its not all about the looks but the posts that I make. One thing I have found to love with blogging; is that it is so different from facebook or myspace. You don't have to worry about how many friends you have or if you are being hidden from someones page, and you don't get all that other crap people post. So here we go, may the journey begin

Sunday is my most favorite day ever since i converted to the Church of Jesus Christ of latter day Saints I have found a true testimony of prayer and the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. My testimony gets stronger and stronger with every lesson I teach to my senior primary class. I have learned so much through teaching them, I only hope they understand how much of a blessing they are to me.

Last Sunday was my week to teach and the lesson was on Saying thank you. I really thought hard about this lesson and how thankful I am of my family and all the people in my life. I have been given some great opportunities in my life and I only hope the people involved truly believe how thankful I am for them. One person I know I don't say thank you enough to is my loving husband, he does anything and everything for me. I know that when that day comes that we will be able to have a baby he will be there with me the whole way, loving me when I'm all fat and ugly (which i hope will not be that bad), and just being that shoulder to cry on when my emotions are all a mess. I know that he will be doing his very best to provide everything he can for our family. For that I am forever grateful and thankful to have him in my life. Forever and always, I love you!

First day of Blogging

Bare with me this is the first time I have ever blogged before. It seems these days that blogging is all the rage. I don't usually like to conform myself to what everyone else is doing but... I think I can make any exception to blogging. I will try not to make any grammar or spelling errors so it will be fun and easy for everyone to read. I wasn't going to make my blog available till after the 26th. Why the 26th? well Brett and I went to the doctor and had an IUI (intra-uterine insemination) and around the 26th we will know if it worked or not. So I wanted to share the news via my blog. I know I shouldn't get my hopes up, but Blessings happen:)

My blog will be mostly on Brett and I and all the new things that will be happening in our lives. I have gotten really into cooking so I plan on posting some of my favorite recipes. There might be some spur of the moment post that I do from my phone but i will try and do most of them from a computer.

I hope you all enjoy and if you have any suggestions for me I would love to hear from you.